The Soldier and The Spy Drabbles
by Tay otptilltheend
Summary: How does Steve deal with his hidden dark side? - Drabble #16 *rating based on drabble/prompt* *A collection of drabbles mostly about Steve and Natasha. With a few about other Avengers and parings thrown in there as well.*
1. After Hours Drabble 1

**Drabble:** Steve/Natasha

 **Rating:** M

 **Word Count:** 1,690

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That smirk. He wished she would just stop with those damn smirks. As the elevator doors opened Natasha got out and sashayed her way down the hall to her room.

"Romaonoff" he called out just as the doors closed, holding them open with a hand he made his way down the hall. The red head raised a brow at him as she opened the door to her room.

"You're still with that, Rogers?" she asked in amusement.

"Yes, I am you could have compromised the whole mission" he said for what seemed like the hundredth time. Not bothering for permission to enter her room he, walked right in and closed the door.

"I was doing just fine. Besides the mission wasn't compromised. There's no need to get all huffy about it"

She knew she had a point. But then again he also had a point. If he hadn't jumped in at the last second she would have had to shoot the man. That wouldn't have been a lot worse. In all honesty she enjoyed not following his orders. She liked seeing him railed up. A side she hardly got to see unless he got into an argument with Stark or was getting mad at her.

"Just fine? Is that what you call almost getting killed?" At this point he was fuming, anger slowly bubbling up inside him, anger that threatened to spill any second.

"I've been in worse situations. Yet here I am."

"Next time. Listen to my orders" He said, his eyes staring right into her emerald hues. Three seconds passed, before he broke eye contact and turned towards the door.

"What if I don't?"

His hand had just touched the metal handle of the doorknob, when she uttered the words.

"You know I won't listen. So why try?" she smirked, using that challenging yet teasing tone she knew he hated.

Before she could say another word, he grabbed her my her arm and pinned her against the door. His hands on either side of her head, his body only inches away from hers.

"I know you won't. Looks like I have to teach you"

She gasped at the sudden action as a shiver ran through her. If it would have been anyone else, she would have kicked there ass and probably hurt them severally. But this was Steve, the only other person who she trusted completely. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips as she looked into his eyes; the normally blue color being replaced by a much darker shade.

"I don't think you can teach me how to behave…"

"You think I can't?" he asked in a low voice

"You don't know the first thing about women"

"True…but I know how to give orders" He didn't wait for her to respond, as he pinned her wrists above her head and kissed her roughly. If she hadn't hurt him yet, he only hoped that she wouldn't hurt him now.

A soft moan escaped her lips as she kissed him back with as much passion and hunger. She squirmed slightly, trying to get her hands free from his, but it was obviously a hopeless attempt. Removing his lips from hers he moved them to her neck slowly ghosting them over her skin. Using the hand that was not holding her wrists, he slowly, in an agonizing way pulled the zipper to her suit down. As skin was slowly exposed to him he covered every inch of new skin with his lips.

Natasha was a mess as his lips slowly traveled down her neck to her chest. Her head was spinning with desire and her skin was flushed with need. She was always so in control of her body and its actions. But apparently it took a certain Brooklyn boy to throw her control out the window. Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip as she let out a shameless groan, at the feeling of his lips over the swells of her breasts.

She panted as cool air suddenly surrounded her. Blinking a few times she noticed Steve studying her. She knew she looked like a mess blown pupils, kiss swollen lips, her suit half open.

"What-"

"Did I say you could speak, Agent Romaonff?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Natasha blinked at him, was he really doing this? He wasn't. It couldn't be. She couldn't find her voice to speak, so she just shook her head.

Grabbing her by the hand Steve lead her to her bed and gently pushed her down, making her sit.

"You will only speak when asked to speak and you will follow everything I say, is that understood?"

Dear god. He was doing this. This had to be a dream. He would never do this, would he? No… he wouldn't.

The red head chuckled softly, "Ok, I get… this is some kind of joke.. Tony put you up to this"

Steve knew she wouldn't believe it was really happening. Pulling her up he looked into her emerald eyes, his features softening the slightest bit.

"This isn't a joke. Now take this off.. I'll be right back" With that he pulled away from her and wandered into the kitchen.

Now she knew he wasn't joking. Her whole body seemed to respond on its own. Slowly she stood up and plucked her boots off before pealing the black suit off of her body. Leaving the purple bra and black panties on, she climbed onto her bed and waited.

Steve looked through a few cabinets and decided to check the night stand instead. As he looked up he saw her sitting on the bed, studying him. There was so much pale flesh exposed he wanted to worship every inch of it. Keeping a hold on his control, he walked back to the bed and opened the night stand drawer. Bingo. He found what he was looking for. With a raised brow dangled the metal cuff from his index finger.

"Care to explain this?"

Natasha turned and looked at what he was holding. She shrugged nonchalantly, "Never know when you might need them"

Shaking his head slight he crawls over her body, slowly watching as she lay back on the bed.

"Arms above your head"

Biting her lip she complied and placed her arms above her head. Her green eyes looked at him as she felt the cold metal click around her wrists.

Standing up Steve moved to the foot of the bed. "Close your eyes"

She rolled her emerald hues before closing them. Mentally pouting. How badly she wanted to see him take off the uniform.

He smirked to himself as he takes the uniform off. He wanted to teach her a lesson, the reward would come later. Once only in his boxers he slowly crawls up her body.

His hands and lips start blazing a trail down her skin, slowly kissing and touching every inch of her skin. As he moves his lips down her taught stomach he momentarily kisses the scar before continuing his path. As his hands caress her thighs, he's saluted with her scent. Moving his hand up to her hips he dragged the lacy material off of her, leaving her completely exposed to him.

"I hope you're not attached to this…" his voice is a whisper as he tugs at her bra.

Natasha shakes her head before feeling the snapping of the straps. Her eyes flew open.

"Did you just rip it off of me?" shock evident in her voice

"Did I tell you, you could speak? Let alone open your eyes?"

"No.."

"Now close them"

With a heavy sigh she closed her eyes and tried to keep as still as possible.

Once she had her eyes closed he gently spread her thighs further apart, kissing the inside of her left thigh he slowly moved closer to where he knew she needed him the most. Spreading her lips apart he gently used his index finger to tease her. The breathy moan that came from above telling him he was doing something right. Relying on his gut, he slipped his finger inside her heat, watching as she arched her back slightly off the bed. Kissing his way back up her body he kept moving his finger inside her. As their lips melted together in a need kiss he slipped in a second finger. A low growl escaped his throat as he felt how wet she really was.

Natasha felt like her whole body was on fire. The gentleness of his fingers and the demanding feeling of the kiss overwhelmed her completely. As he pulled back he slipped another finger inside her, his thumb moving in circular motions over her bundle of nerves. A string of loud mewls and moans escaped her lips as she squirmed in need.

"You won't chase your release until I tell you to"

Labored pants tickled his neck as he kissed and sucked at her pulse point.

"Oh god.. Steve…please.." she was so close, she could feel herself start to slip.

"Will you listen to. Me. Next. Time.?" He punctuated the last three words with deep thrusts of his fingers.

"Yes!...I will!.." she moaned loudly as his fingers thrusted into her.

"Let go Natasha" Steve whispered in her ear.

The red head didn't hear the rest of the sentence. Her climax hit her hard, her back arching off the bed as an incoherent moan of his name was ripped from her throat.

He watched her as he come undone under him, slowly moving his fingers in and out to prolong her orgasm. Once he knew she was coming down from her high, he removed his fingers from her and undid the handcuffs from around her wrists. Rolling onto his back he pulled her into his side, holding her as she came back down to earth.

"That…" she mumbled against his chest.

"Shhh..I'll be here when you wake up"

"It's not a one-time thing is it?" her voice already laced with sleep.

"No..its not, trust me"

She smiled softly as she was pulled under, into unconsciousness. Safe and secure in his arms.

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 **A/N:** These will all be one shots, I just want to consolidate them into one, makes things easier (:


	2. The One That Got Away Drabble 2

**Drabble:** Steve/Natasha

 **Rating:** K

 **Word Count:** 974

 **Prompt:** Song fic; The One That Got Away by The Civil Wars

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Natasha Romanoff had just gotten back from a mission. The sixth one in less than three weeks. They were all simple really, at least for her they were. Sticking her hand out to stop the closing elevator doors, she stepped into the metal box which was not empty, much to her dismay.

"Agent Romanoff" Maria greeted in her usual monotone way.

"Maria." The red head leaned against the wall near the control panel, as she pressed the button for her floor.

"Did you just get back?" The male voice broke through her train of thought. Her green hues lifted up to meet baby blue ones.

"Yeah, I won't be here for the next couple of weeks."

"You haven't even trained any of the new Avengers with me. We're a _team_ remember?"

"Well I'm also an agent, plus Fury is sending me on a mission to South America." Natasha had only helped Steve train the new members for about a week before she started taking missions left and right. It seemed that she too had gone off to do her own thing. Tony visited a few times a mouth as did Clint. No one had heard from Bruce and Thor was off in Asgard. Natasha was the only one left from the team, he had liked it that way but once she started taking missions he was left alone with Vision, Wanda, Sam and Rhodes; not that it was a bad thing, he just missed her presence.

"Oh I'm sure Sharron can help." The sarcasm and irritation in her voice was obvious to anyone who knew her well enough; like Maria and Steve.

"See, I told you she wouldn't mind I help" The blonde finally spoke up with a small smile as she looked at Steve.

It wasn't a secret that as Natasha had spent more time away from the base, Sharron and Steve had gotten closer. The rookie agent clearly had feelings for the team's leader but the spy couldn't tell if the feelings were mutual. She wasn't jealous, but at one point in time she had thought that they had something. But apparently she had been wrong. Maybe it was all the times that they had spared and his weight had come down on her, pinning her to the matt. How in the small space between them both had just panted and stared intently into each other's eyes, daring the other to make a move. But alas, the red head would always manage to wiggle her way free and Steve would end up on the floor.

Giving the solider one last look she was out of the elevator before the doors had even fully opened, making a beeline for her floor. If she would have stayed any long in that elevator, Steve would have been able to convince her to stay.

"I'll catch you later" Steve said to Sharron before he made his way out of the elevator and towards Natasha's floor. The door was just closing when he used his hand to stop it. Stepping into the room he closed the door behind himself.

"What are-"

Before Natasha could say anymore Steve was already standing in front of her, his large hands cupping her face as their lips met in a bruising kiss. The Black Widow was always to in control of her emotions and things she said, but this time she couldn't help the moan that escaped her. Dear god, who knew Steve Rogers could kiss like this.

As the minutes ticked by clothes were quickly shed, both stumbling towards the king sized bed. This wasn't how either of them would have imagined their first time with each other being. Steve was the kind of man who would take his time with a woman, especially Natasha, the only thing he knew was how to make love. And Natasha would have taken the lead just to get off, but this was Steve, and he was intoxicating the lightest touch sent a shiver down her spine; he would be the only man who would ever tame her in bed.

Finally they found the sturdy surface of the bed, both already going half-crazy with the lust that clouded their minds. Heated skin against heated skin. Both marred with scars of a worriers past. Soon enough they became a mess of tangled limbs. Crimson curls splayed against the dark sheets, as passion filled moans escaped both of them. Tangled between the sheets it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began.

Fire. The slow build that starts as embers but given time and the right about of kindling, those embers can turn into a great big roaring fire. The lingering touches, the way their eyes met, the way a kiss could go from feather like to demanding in a matter of seconds. Lips against pale skin, nails ranking down a muscular back, whispers of want and need. All small embers, but before long they were both clinging to each other as the fire consumed them, sending them into a white oblivion.

The marks that they would each have would be a reminder that they hadn't dreamt it. It would also serve as a promise of sorts. The unspoken feelings were thick between them. Every touch and every kiss, every moan was evidence that they had mutual feelings. But for now this was all they could give the other. This one night, because in a couple hours Natasha would go off on her mission and Steve would return to training the new Avengers with Sharron.

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 **A/N:** I removed the lyrics because I got a bunch of crap for it, I didn't want that to happen again if I re-posted it with the lyrics.


	3. Someone New Drabble 3

**Drabble:** Steve/Natasha

 **Rating:** K

 **Word Count:** 602

 **Prompt:** Song fic

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Natasha Romanoff had blown all her covers, all of SHIELD's information had been dumped onto the internet by none other than herself. It had to be done. She wasn't afraid of what the world would say about her, she already knew what she had done and who she was and what her place in this world was. As she made her way towards the three familiar men, the file in her hand seemed to weigh more the closer she got.

"You should be honored, that as close as he gets to saying thank you." Despite the feeling she managed to keep her confident demure as she approached them.

"Not going with him?" Steve asked as he broke away from the other two men.

"No." Going with Fury was _not_ what she had in mind. But none the less the classic Natasha Roamanoff smirk tugged at her lips.

"Not staying here?"

"Nah" the reply was almost a whisper but she couldn't help it. As much as she wanted to be around Steve she couldn't. She had blown all of her covers, a new one was needed. "I blew all my covers. I got to go figure out a new one."

"It might take a while" Steve replied, he didn't know what it was like to have to make up a new cover from scratch but if it was as difficult as Fury faking his own death then it would most certainly take a while. But how long? How long would it be before he saw her again?

"I'm counting on it." The red head smirked at him. The longer it took the longer it would take her to reunite with Steve and the others, which hopefully meant that her feelings for him would vanish and that he would find someone to be with.

"That thing you asked for." Grabbing the file she handed it over to him, "I called in a few favors from Kiev,"

Steve took the file and looked at it. It was all the information they had on The Winter Solider. On Bucky.

"Will you do me a favor?" She didn't know if he would really do it. But it was the least she could do to start paving the way for her feelings for Steve Rogers to come to an end.

"Call that nurse"

"She's not a nurse"

"And you're not a SHEILD agent."

"What was her name again?"

"Sharon…She's nice."

Despite the fact that Natasha Romanoff was great at facades, she couldn't help the look that ghosted over her features. ' _She's nice_ ' The words had taken a bit longer to say but it would be better in the long run.

The look didn't go unnoticed by Steve. He wanted to tell her to come with him, but he knew she wouldn't, not without a cover.

Without a second thought she placed a kiss on his cheek. A bittersweet moment. This was it, there was no going back. Giving him one last look she turned around and head the way she had come.

"Be careful, Steve. You might not want to pull on that thread" Looking back at him, the look that was on his features told her everything. He didn't want her to go. He didn't want to ask Sharon out. He wanted her. But here was nothing that could be done.

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 **A/N:** Just like my other song fic, I got a lot of crap for it so I deleted the lyrics.


	4. My Immortal Drabble 4

**Drabble:** Wanda

 **Rating:** K+

 **Word Count:** 460

 **Prompt:** Wanda trying to cope with Pietro's death

* * *

Wanda Maximoff had been through a lot. From losing her parents to being trapped next to a bomb for three days in a collapsed building with her brother to being experimented on. None of those things made her lose hope, even in the worst situations there was always a sliver of hope. After the distraction of Sokovia and the death of her brother, Wanda had lost all hope.

How could someone go on when only half of them is alive? How can someone drive half a car? Or live in half a house? Or only wear half of their clothing? They can't. It's unnatural and impossible. As the months dragged on living was slowly becoming impossible for Wanda.

At the beginning she wouldn't leave her room for days. Wouldn't eat. Didn't want to see anyone that tried to help her. They knew that if they even tried going into her room they would be blasted out. Wanda would simply sit on the bed in the dark, holding Pietro's shirt, as she cried. She would cry until she couldn't cry anymore or until sleep claimed her for a few hours.

That had somewhat changed as the months went on. During the day she would comply and train whenever they asked her to. On weekends she would join them for movie nights and she would occasionally poke at whatever they were making to eat. If they were able to see through the fake smile and fake laugh they didn't say anything. Clint would occasionally ask her how she was doing, she's nod and give him a reassuring smile saying that she was better than a few months ago.

What they didn't know was that as soon as the door to her floor closed behind her, tears would be pouring down her cheeks. Sometimes she would slide down onto the floor and silently cry for hours. Other times she would make it to her bed and curl up in a ball crying into her pillow.

Tonight was no different. The sorceress found herself sitting in the foot claw tub, her arms wrapped around her knees as she cried. The hot water had turned cold hours ago, but she didn't care. Feeling cold was better than feeling hollow inside. Her voice just above a whisper as she sang a lullaby that her mother used to sing, the emotion as thick as a lump quickly formed in her throat. Hot tears poured down her cheeks as she shivered in the water.

There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.


	5. Arachnid Drabble 5

**Drabble:** Natasha

 **Rating:** K+

 **Word Count:** 460

 **Prompt:** Natasha Romanoff and spiders

* * *

When one sees a spider, they are either terrified or it or grab something to kill it with. Natasha Romanoff did neither. She simply watched as the arachnid slowly made its way towards the sugar bowl. Her mug of coffee half way between the breakfast bar and her lips, a memory flashed in her mind, a memory that she had not remembered in _ages._

~It was one of the many test that they endured in the Red Room. One of the many test to see who had progressed in not being susceptible to poisons and toxins. One of them being a bite from a black widow spider.

They had designed a room specifically for this purpose, the floor was covered with webs all which were made my female widows and the majority of them had babies in them. This test was done with those specifications because female black widows bite is usually more toxic than males and they only bite if their nest is disturbed and or if their eggs are disturbed.

The girls could only take three steps into the room before they were surrounded by spider webs.  
Each and every day they would pick the next group of six girls and test them. One buy one they would walk in and come back out an hour later. Their arms, legs, neck and sometimes their face would have two tiny red dots and there would often be swelling.

After that they would be taken to the training room and each girl would soar against another. The doctor would observe them from the second floor ledge. The task was simple. Eliminate the weak ones. The ones that were too nauseous or had too many muscle cramps to continue. The ones that let their fear get to them, resulting in their blood pressure sky rocketing.

The weak ones wouldn't be treated. Simply removed from the training room either limp from being shot. The ones that remained would be given morphine for the pain and sent back to do the rest of their daily scheduled work. As the number of girls shrunk, the morphine would stop and they would have to deal with the pain on their own.

By the time the test was over, the girls that remained would only have minimal swelling to the affected area and would show no other symptoms. ~

"There's a spider." Natasha's voice sounded far off as she pulled herself from the memory.

"Kill it." Stark replied as he grabbed a box of left over Chinese from the fridge.

"It's your kitchen. You do it." With that, the spy took a sip of her coffee, got off the stool she had been sitting on and made her way to her floor.


	6. Do You Still Trust Me? Drabble 6

**Drabble** : Steve/Natasha

 **Word Count:** 643

 **Rating:** K+

 **Prompt:** Why is Natasha choosing Stark's side?

* * *

The tension was obvious. It was obvious to anyone who had known Steve and Tony as long as she had. Alpha male against Alpha male. Now it was under completely different circumstances, both men were on opposing side of a topic that could split the whole team up. That could put both of them against each other to the death.

It was even more obvious who was siding with who. Despite the report that she had done on Tony all those years ago, she sided with him. He /was/ narcissistic, self-absorbed and he didn't play well with others. But it was the /only/ way. The only way to save the people she loved. Clint didn't know about her plan. No one did. Which is why rumors started spreading around the team and agents. That Natasha Romanoff was siding with none other than Tony Stark. But it could be neither denied nor confirmed. No one would know which side she was on until it was time to pick. She knew deep down in her bones that the day would come. Sooner rather than later.

Having finished training Wanda and Sam, the red head walked out of the training room and down the corridor of the facility, Steve hot on her heels. He hadn't said a word to her the whole two hours they had been training them, simply meeting her gaze with his before looking away. But she knew that look, he was trying to figure her out, figure out whose side she was on, figure out what her motive was. Before she could come up with some smartass thing to say, she felt his tight grip on her bicep as he yanked her around the corner, and pushed her against the wall.

"What the hell is your problem?" her green eyes glaring at his as her back his the wall.

"I could ask you the same thing. Why on earth would you chose Stark?" His voice was low and laced with anger, or was that frustration? Maybe a bit of betrayal.

"This is the only way I can pay my debt to you. Remember when I asked you if you trusted me to save your life? Well this is it." Her voice was calm as she spoke, her gaze not wavering from his.

He sighed softly at her words, letting both of her arms go. His shoulders slumping as the tension washed out of them.

"I can't let you get hurt, Natasha." Both his eyes and his voice had softened, oh those blue eyes that had the potential to burn into her soul.

"And I can't let you die, Rogers."

There. She said it. She was afraid of losing him, she couldn't lose him. Not when she struggled to hard to keep her feelings at bay. She couldn't lose her rock. The one person who didn't care about her bloody past, the one person who saw the good in her.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"I'm a spy. It's what I do."

His gaze wavered down to her lips for a second, lingering a bit longer than normal. No. She couldn't, not now at least.

Pushing past him she turned to him one last time. "I'll explain everything once this is over."

Their eyes seemed to send all the things that neither was willing to say. All the emotions they were not willing to say.

"Be careful, Romanoff."

The corner of her lips tugged up into a slight smirk before she turned and walked down the hall towards the elevator. She had to do this. Had to take Stark's side to keep Clint and Steve alive. In a way it was atonement. An atonement for her bloody past. For once, since she came out of the Red Room, she was willing to die for something -for _someone-_ she believed in.


	7. Absolution Drabble 7

**Drabble:** Natasha Romanoff

 **Word Count:** 552

 **Rating:** K+

 **Prompt:** Civil War

 ***** See Author's Note at the end *****

* * *

Natasha Romanoff was known for not showing much emotion. It was who she was, how she was trained.

Emotions are weakness. And the Widow is never weak.

Despite that Steve had managed to wiggle his way past the many walls she built. Even now, more than a year of being with him, it scared her. It scared her to think that one day she would wake up and he would be gone, only to be a memory in her mind. She wasn't used to having stability /nothing/ was permanent in her life.

After the events of Sokovia and the rumors of a Registration Act, Natasha Romanoff thought long and hard about everything she had done in her life. She needed to repent in anyway she could. She needed to wipe the red from her ledger. Even if it meant fighting against the two people she cared most about.

She didn't want to admit it out loud but Tony had a point. They needed to be put in line. They needed to take responsibility for their actions. She of all people knew that, knew first hand what could happen if they didn't take responsibility, she already had enough blood on her hands she didn't need more.

Begrudgingly, Natasha made her way down the hall and towards the conference room General Ross was in. She could see him through the glass wall, along with Tony, Sam, Sharon and Steve.

'Damn it Steve. Why are you such an ass? Why can't you listen for once?'

Natasha Romanoff was never one to get nervous, but she was slightly on edge when she opened the door and allowed herself into the room. All ten pairs of eyes landed on her, but hers only landed on one person.

Steve.

'I hate you. But, I love you.'

Oh how she wanted to go up to him and just punch him. Punch him for making this more difficult. Punch him for making her fall in love with him. Punch him for every cheesy thing he'd ever said to her. But she also wanted to kiss him. Kiss him for teaching her what love is. Kiss him for being the dork that he is. Kiss him for accepting who she is.

And when their eyes met, in that split second, it was like he could read her mind, the expression on his face said everything. He knew she was going to sign it.

"General." The spy said as her gaze moved from Steve to the man before her.

"I hope you can convince /other/ people to sign it as well."

The corner of her lips quirked into her signature smirk before she took the rather expensive pen and signed her name. Setting the pen back down on the table, she knew this was only the beginning of something. Something bad. Something that felt very much like her worst nightmare.

Now, there was only one question. How could she protect the few people she loved? How could she protect the man she loved when her warnings were not being heeded?

Giving Steve one last look, she turned on her heels and made her way out the door and down the hall. She was certain of one thing. Self-preservation was key. The rest of the unanswered questions would fall into place after that.

* * *

 **A/N:** College has been kicking my butt, and with that my ability to write anything for Why Do You Run Away. I haven't forgotten about it, but I haven't been able to sit down and write the next chapter for it. I don't know when I'll update it but I will... whenever that may be. I apologize for the wait.


	8. Without You Drabble 8

**Drabble:** Steve/Natasha

 **Word Count:** 740

 **Rating:** K

 **Prompt:** Song fic

 ***Song: Tu by Shakira. Lyrics translated from Spanish to English***

* * *

Natasha felt like the rug had been pulled out from under her and she was free falling into a black abyss, never to see the light of day again. She couldn't believe this this had actually happened. That Steve was... _dead._ How? Why?

It felt like the whole country was mourning the loss of the great Captain America. And as the black town car pulled up to the cemetery, she felt the lump in her throat grow larger. Tearing her gaze from the black tinted window, she put her sunglasses on and opened the door. Part of her was screaming to just tell the driver to keep going, put another part of her knew she had to be here.

 _I give you my waist, and my lips for whenever you want to kiss them. I give you my madness and the few neurons that I have left._

Giving a shakey sigh, she stepped out of the car and shut the door behind herself. As she walked towards the rest of the people and friends that had known Steve, she didn't register Clint and Laura coming up on either side of her. The archer took her hand and gave it a squeeze, he was the only one who knew about her true feelings for Steve. So he knew how hard this was on her.

As they stood around the burial site, she could see Pepper trying her best to console Tony. Nick was also there along with Maria Hill. Sharon and Bucky were also there. Wanda stood to move next to Clint who simply put an arm around her, not letting go of Natasha's hand. More people slowly started trickling in but the spy didn't register this. All she couldn't think about was Steve and how he had died thinking that she had liked Banner.

 _My faded shoes, the journal in which I write in, I'll even give you my sighs, but don't you leave any more._

Of course, Banner was the last one to awkwardly arrive from where ever he had been for the past couple of months. But that didn't matter. None of this did. She wanted to wake up and realize it was some sick dream, unfortunately it wasn't. It had really happened... she had _seen_ it happen. Had rushed to his side not caring about the bullets flying, not caring about anything but him.

 _You are, love, my will to laugh, the goodbye that I won't be able to say because I'll never be able to live without you._

And now she was standing here feeling numb, knowing that she would never be able to see him again. Never be able to tease him or see his smile or tell him ho she felt. Tears ran down her cheeks which were partially hidden by the oversized sunglasses she wore. Clenching her jaw, she squeezed Clint's hand harder, willing herself not to break down. She couldn't break down, not here.

 _I'll give you my silences I'll give you my nose I'll even give you my bones But stay here._

The only thought that was keeping her half sane at this point was the fact that he had trusted her. Of course she'd failed him, having not been able to save him, but the look on his face as she urged him to focus on her voice made it ok. Because in those agonizingly long seconds, she had looked into this eyes, her own wild with panic and fear, and she had seen the love and trust he had for her.

 _Because you are-my sun- the faith that I live with, the strength of my voice, the feet that I walk with._

 _"Steve... stay with me, damn it. You're going to be fine."_

 _"N-nat... I love you..."_

The last words he had said to her before giving his final breath.

As the casket was slowly lowered into the ground, Natasha couldn't help it, she turned to bury her face into Clint's neck, silently crying, her arms wrapping around his torso. This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to the only reminder she would have of her were the dog tags that were currently around her neck, hidden behind the martial of her black trench coat and under her black dress.

Clint soothed her back and hair as she cried, mourning the one person she had unexpectedly come to love.


	9. Haircuts Drabble 9

**Drabble:** Jane really likes short hair on Bucky.

 **Paring:** Jane/Bucky

 **Word Count:** 445

 **Rating:** K+

* * *

Jane Foster was never one for too much change. She dressed pretty much the same as she did in college and her hair hadn't changed much over a couple of years. It was easier that way, all she had to do was tie it up in a ponytail to keep it out of her face when doing research. Unfortunately, it meant that when Thor finally came back from Asgard after the whole Ultron incident –he hadn't told her he was going back yet _again_ \- she decided it was time for change.

Two hours later and she was making her way into the common area on the Tower. Thankfully no one was there to see her new haircut, or so she thought.

"Lookin' good Foster." Bucky said as he leaned against the kitchen island, cup of coffee in hand.

"Oh.. um… thanks." The short, sleek bob had not been here idea. It had been the idea of Kate, Pepper's hairstylist –who according to Pepper had done a wonderful job on the new cut.

"What do you think? Should I get a haircut also?" The short while that Jane had known James, he had the shaggy hair, and she didn't know what he looked like without it.

"If you want…. Any longer and it's going to look like mine." She was teasing of course, she didn't think he would take him seriously.

"You're right. C'mon." With that he closed the distance between them and took her by the hand, pulling her along with him.

"Wait what?" Jane asked as she followed him up the stairs and towards his floor.

"You're going to give me a haircut."

As much as she tried explaining that sharp objects and she didn't mix, he wouldn't drop it. He _insisted_ that she cut his hair.

Thirty minutes later, Jane was standing in front of Bucky who was sitting on a chair, scrutinizing her work.

"It's terrible, Stark is going to make fun of you."

"Can't be that bad.." Giving her his boyish grin, he pulled her to him, making her straddle his lap.

"I like how light it feels…" His voice was now a whisper as his nose brushed against her jaw. _Oh god._ Dropping the scissors that had been in her hand, she draped her arms over his shoulders, heat coiling in her stomach.

"Good thing you didn't go any shorter… otherwise I wouldn't have been able to do this.."

With that he tangled his fingers into her hair and tugged causing Jane to moan out as their lips met in a heated kiss. Her own fingers tugged at his freshly cropped hair, yup, she definitely liked shorter hair on him.


	10. Sex Isn't A Competition Drabble 10

**Drabble:** 18\. Only when I give you permission

22\. I dare you to try me

(requested by Alizromanoffsj on twitter)

 **Paring:** Steve/Natasha

 **Word count:** 1,009

 **Rating:** M

* * *

"I _dare_ you to try me, Rogers." Natasha huskily mumbled to him, tugging him towards her by his tie before moving closer to kiss him.

They had been on a simple undercover op and when they had been done, the words that their target had spoken to Steve lingered in her mind. _Women aren't meant to be in charge. They're too emotional._

"Did you really agree with what he said?" The spy glanced at him as they made their way out of the black SUV and towards the elevator at Tower.

"Of course not. You know I don't agree with men who say that. In certain aspects however…. It's a lot better if, _I_ take charge." His voice had lowered and was dripping with inappropriate suggestions. The darkening of his eyes sent a small shiver down her spine. When he was in charge it really was great but she had other ideas.

It was really had to focus on her plan when he was pinning her to the door of his floor, a hand tangling into her red curls as the other hooked a leg around his hips. His hand ghosting over her calf and moving up the pencil skirt she wore. Their lips battled for dominance as his hand expertly moved further up her leg squeezing her skin as it went. Moans slowly filled the room before they broke apart, panting for air. Damn it. He was making this more difficult that she had thought.

Pushing her hips against his growing erection, she knew she had suddenly gotten the upper hand when he let out a small moan. That was all it took for her to move quickly and flip them over, shoving him against the wall next to the door.

"I'm not called a seductress for nothing, Rogers." Blinking, Steve knew he was in trouble with the look and smirk she gave him. _Fuck._

Pressing herself against him, she nipped and licked at his neck before moving to kiss him once more. His hands settled on her hips, her own small hands undoing his belt and dress pants in record time.

"You aren't the only one who can take charge, Captain." The spy whispered in his ear, before gracefully sinking to her knees in front of him.

Licking her lips, green hues looked up at him through thick lashes, lithe hands freeing his erection of its confinement.

"Nat-" Steve's voice sounded slightly strangled as he looked down at her. They had never done this; he knew she was more than willing but he had never felt comfortable letting her do it.

"You don-" The only thing he could do was moan as she took him into her mouth. _Holy fucking hell._

Humming around him, she worked him with her hand and mouth for a few moments as she relished the feeling of being in charge. She was _finally_ getting a chance to do this and it was freaking worth it. Removing her mouth, she licked the underside of member before pumping him with her hand. He looked absolutely wrecked. Disheveled hair, mouth a gape, eyes screwed shut. It looked like she was the only person who could reduce the great Captain America to a desperate moaning mess.

"Steve. Look at me." Her pumping had slowed down, but the wicked smirk still remained on her lips.

Blue hues meeting green, Steve swore he was going to die. Of a heart attack or due to lack of oxygen he didn't know. He just knew he was going to die. Bucking into her hand, he moaned as she squeezed a bit harder. He struggled to keep his eyes from fluttering shut as she licked and sucked on him, there was no way in hell he was going to last much longer.

As his eyes fluttered shut, Natasha used the opportunity to take him completely into her mouth.

"Fuck!" A hand immediately found her red curls as he tried tugging her away from him. But that only made it worse… or a thousand times better really… because she fucking moaned around him as she bobbed her head up and down. Letting his head fall back against the door, he bucked his hips, gently fucking her mouth. Panting and moaning he could feel himself hurl towards his release.

But it seemed like she had other ideas. Her hot, wet mouth was suddenly missing and so was her hand, her lips mere millimeters from his raging hard on.

"Wh-"

Natasha wanted to grin at the look he gave her. Blue eyes clouded with lust and wide with sudden confusion, breathing labored as his mind tried to figure out what was going on.

"You aren't coming unless I give you permission. Besides, did I say you could fuck my mouth?" Raising a brow at him, she squeezed her thighs together. This was really turning her on, she had half a mind to slip a hand under her skirt to take the edge off, but her goal was getting Steve to come first, she could wait.

The Captain simply shook his head, not being able to find his voice.

Licking her lips once more, she wrapped a hand around him and worked him over before taking him back into her mouth. That's how she kept him for a while, close but not close enough. Payback for all the times he'd kept her on the edge before letting her come.

"Tasha… damn it… please."

"Fine. But you're coming in my mouth." Moved her hand around him, she was loving the groans and grunts that were falling from his lips.

" _For me."_ Natasha quickly added at the look he gave her.

Taking him all the way into her mouth, she moaned around him, sucking a bit harder as she allowed him to fuck her mouth.

It didn't take long for him to let out an incoherent groan of her name as he finally found his release. Eagerly she lapped it up, her hand wrapping around him as she pulled away. The surge of pride that ran through her manifested itself in a smug smile as she stood up. She'd finally done it. Made Steve Rogers come first.

* * *

Request on tumblr ( **otptilltheend** ) or twitter ( _HailRomanogers_ )


	11. Scream For Me Drabble 11

**Drabble:** _35\. Scream louder and I'll fuck harder_ (Sumbited by iamartemisday on tumblr)

 **Paring:** Jane/Bucky

 **Word Count:** 720

* * *

 _Breathe, Jane. Breathe._

Despite this, Jane still found herself gasping for air in between moans. Her skin felt like it was on fire and she'd lost count of how many times she'd climaxed.

"James.." She mewled as her hands tugged at his shaggy hair, her head hitting the wall she was currently pinned against. The only thing she got was a grunting sound and the feeling of his hand on her ass tighten as he moved her up and down. A loud gasp in surprise emitted from her as he slammed into her, her body convulsing as she came.

Between trying to calm her labored breathing and squirming in his arms as his hard erection rubbed against her clit, she didn't realize he had moved them to the bed. Watching him through half lidded eyes, the brunette gave him a lazy smile.

"I'm not done with you, don't get too comfortable." James said as he loomed over her, looking like a predator ready to pounce on his next meal.

Pulling him down for a sweet and languid kiss, Jane hummed in contentment. The softness of his lips and the sweetness of it was contradictory to how he had practically been fucking her into the wall minutes ago.

Meeting his blue gaze as he pulled away, she squealed in surprise as she was suddenly flipped over. "Ja-" The protest died on her lips as he pulled her hips up and pressed against her. _OH._ They sure as heck had never done this before, but she was not about to start complaining, not when he was pressing butterfly kisses up her back.

"How 'bout we play a little game.." His voice was husky and slightly dangerous in her ear.

"What game?" Pressing her cheek against the duvet, she glanced at him as best as she could.

"The louder you scream, the harder I fuck you."

His words caused her brain to short-circuit and all she could do was nod. Her poor neighbors were going to be in for it.

Bracing her forearms on the bed, she gave a soft gasp as he slowly slid into her. The feeling of how he filled her and stretched her would never get old. The pace was familiar, slow and steady, he was building her up. Or so she thought. Giving a whine of protest as he pulled out, he didn't give her time to think before he slammed right back in. His hand gripping her hip as the other fisted into her hair, tugging her head back.

"Scream and you'll get it hard. Don't forget that."

Jane's smaller hands fisted themselves into the duvet as she moaned out. The feeling of him pulling her hair as he slammed into her from behind made her whole body shake. She was already close and she knew he wasn't going to stop, not until he came.

"James! Oh god!" Loud incoherent noises tumbled from her lips as she came hard. That clearly didn't stop him, grunting as her walls clamped around him he let go of her hair and gripped her hips slamming into her over and over as he fucked her through her orgasm.

At this point Jane felt her legs start to shake, her inner thighs slick with her own juices, she didn't know if she wanted him to stop or to keep going. It was too much. It felt so good how he was pumping in and out of her but she was starting to get extremely sensitive.

"James! Please! Ahhhh!" Her legs gave out and she was now laying on her stomach, face buried into the duvet as she cried out.

"I want to hear you." James said as he tugged at her hair once more, his thrusts slowing down before he moved her left leg into a nighty degree angle, giving him a better position for him to fuck into her.

"One more Jane…. One more…" Making sure he wasn't crushing her with his body, he started moving his hips again, giving a low growl as he fucked her.

The sound of skin hitting skin was just audible over the sound of Jane's screaming.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!…. Oh fuck! James…. Harder… please.. AHHHH!"

With one last keen wail, she came hard, James following right behind her.

* * *

If you'd like to submit a sexy prompt you can do it on Tumblr ( **otptilltheend** ) or on twitter ( **HailRomanogers** )


	12. Get Lost In The Grey Drabble 12

**Drabble:** #22 Holding your hands above your head. (This is literally everything but that and I'm sorry!) Requested by Alizromanoffsj on twitter

 **Paring:** Steve/Natasha

 **Word Count** : 2,259

 **Rating:** M

 **A/N:** This was supposed to be prompt 22. I got distracted by the song I was listening to…. So this happened instead. Slight Dom/Sub if you squint, close your eyes and tilt your head either way. I'm sorry to the person who submitted this, I hope you still like it.

* * *

This wasn't her. Yet it was. Natasha wasn't one to submit to anyone, yet even as she struggled to gain any sort of leverage, struggled to take back a small fraction of control, she _knew_ \- they both _knew-_ that giving Steve her submission pretty much _it._ It was a scary concept for someone who hadn't been able to control her life, who had been controlled and turned into a monster by the Red Room. It wasn't a foreign concept to her, that of submission, she had donned it when certain missions required it, it was part of her _work,_ part of what she did. To her, it didn't belong in an intimate setting with Steve. But she knew that every now and again, especially after a rough mission, he wanted to feel like he was in control, like he wasn't just relying on strategy and a certain amount of luck -his words not hers. She was more than willing to give it to him because she trusted him in more ways than one, but she just wasn't willing to fully admit it to herself, even as he roughly pressed his knee between her legs, drawing out gasp after gasp as he practically lifted her up. Tugging at his lower lip she _needed_ him to do something, something that wasn't just torturing her with his knee wedged between her legs and his lips kissing and nipping at her neck.

"Steve…" Digging her blunt nails into his bicep she desperately pulled him closer.

"Natalia…" Her skin erupted into goosebumps as pleasure kept coursing through her veins. Dear god this man was going to be the death of her.

Tangling a hand into the short hair at the nape of his neck, she tried pulling him closer, tried to kiss him; but he had other ideas. Dipping his head, he captured one of her nipples in his mouth, lavishing it with his tongue before taking it between his teeth and tugging. That action caused the red head to give a breathy gasp and arch her back, her hips rolling against his denim clad knee.

"Steve…." Her tone of voice was laced with plea as she desperately clung to him. He didn't reply, simply wrapped a strong arm around her waist and pulled her down harshly against his knee as his lips moved to her other breast. Whimpering, she withered in his hold, her forehead resting against the top of his head. This was torture, sweet, sweet torture.

"Come, Natalia. Come for me…" His husky voice was hot against her ear, her native language sounding sinfully erotic coming from him.

Fluttering her eyes open, she looked at him through half lidded eyes. Her way of being reluctant and not doing what he had asked.

"I know you want to. Just let go." Steve spoke, still in Russian, against the skin of her neck. His nose brushing against her, taking in her scent before sucking on her pulse point.

He wasn't doing this was he? Was he really going to start talking dirty to her, in _Russian?_

"I want to see you come, Natalia." Another shiver went through her, this time a small cry of pleasure passed her lips as he took her left nipple between his first two knuckles and tugged, sending bolts of pleasure right to her core. His other hand fisting into her red curls and tugging, causing her head to tilt backwards.

"Come, Natalia. Come for me." This time she couldn't fight it off, not what he was speaking like _that,_ her nipple at the relentless mercy of his knuckles, his hand tugging at her hair and his knee pressing against her clit over and over. Gasping, she clung to him tighter, eyes closing as pleasure washed over her. A whimper following as his lips finally met hers, their kiss messy and desperate as she rode the last few waves of her high.

"You're beautiful even when you come." Trying to get her breathing under control, her skin felt too hot for comfort, but she didn't care, not when Steve was pressed against her and she could feel his obvious desire against her thigh.

The contact was short lived as he took a few steps back. The cool air hitting her skin made her shiver, her already hard nipples, hardening even further.

"Take them off." Switching back to English, his head and eyes signaled to the thin scrap of material between her legs that was now totally ruined. Raising a hand, he stopped her. "Turn around." His index finger made a circular motion, indicating what he wanted her to do.

Biting her bottom lip, Natasha pushed herself off of the door and took a few steps towards him. Meeting his intense blue gaze for a moment, she turned around and tugged the black material down her legs, bending at the waist as she did so.

Groaning softly at the sight before him, all Steve wanted to do was take her from behind.

Straightening up, the spy smirked to herself as she heard him groan from behind her. Kicking the black material to one side, she gasped as she was once again pressed against the door, Steve's solid frame pressing into her from behind.

"Have I told you how much I love your ass?" Trailing his index finger down her spine, he watched as she arched her back for him, mesmerized but the movement.

"Only a thousand times." Smirking over her shoulder at him, Natasha couldn't help but let her eyes fall shut as she felt his large warm hand on her ass, his fingers teasing her soaking folds.

Swallowing back a moan, she pressed her ass further into his hand. "You can do it, ya know." Natasha knew what he wanted, could see it in his eyes every time she walked around his apartment or his room at the Tower naked. It was obvious he was an ass man, not matter how many times he tried to deny it.

Feeling him remove his hand her breath hitched in her throat as she heard him undo his belt before the sound of his jeans unzipping followed. Bracing her hands on the door, Natasha couldn't help the moan that passed her as she felt him hard and warm against her ass. _Dear god._

Steve's mind was clouded with lust as he took her in; her back arched, skin flushed, lips parted, green hues blown wide with need. Damn she was perfect. Clenching his jaw, he pumped himself a few times before placing a hand on her hips and slowly pushing into her wet heat. The moan she gave was needy and wanton, he wanted to hear it over and over again.

Natasha shuddered as he slowly filled her, moaning as the new position caused him to feel like he was stretching her out, filling her incredibly so. She could only imagine what it felt like for him and how he must have been struggling to hold onto his control. Bucking her hips back against him she inhaled through her nose as the pool of desire in her stomach coiled.

"Fuck... Nat.." His voice was strained as his other hand flexed around the other side of her hip, starting out at a slow yet steady pace. Groaning at the sight before him, he knew that the arch of her back, the roundness of her ass, and the lust filled gaze she was giving him over her shoulder would forever be burned into his mind. Letting out a moan of his own, he let his eyes flutter shut, damn, how was it that she felt even tighter in this position? He didn't think it was possible, but it was. Pulling out almost all the way, he held her gaze and took in her flushed cheeks, parted lips and blown sage hues before driving into her. Hard.

Giving a cry of pleasure, her hands clenched against the door, her forehead rest against the cool solid surface. Swallowing thickly, she pushed her hips back, wanting to meet him thrust for thrust, but his strong grip kept her in place as he moved with in her. Gasping and whimpering, her head was swimming with pleasure, if he kept it up she was _not_ going to last much longer. The delicious feeling of being filled over and over, his large warm hand gripping her hips and the groans and grunts coming from him were only adding to push her closer to the edge.

Feeling her walls flutter around him, Steve groaned, pushing all the way into her and leaning in to kiss her neck, wanting her to feel filled completely by him and him alone. The string of whimpers and breathy gasps let him know that he had succeeded. Her skin erupted into goosebumps as she ground herself back onto him, both moaning at the feeling.

Natasha was gasping as if there was not enough air in the room for both of them, as if her last breath was closing in on her and she wanted to relish the feeling of being able to breath. As he filled her completely, she knew that nothing _,_ _nothing -_ not any toy let alone her fingers- would ever compare to the feeling of him completely inside her.

Gasping a whimper soon followed as she was suddenly empty, strong arms turned her around before lifting her up as he thrusted into her once more. Groaning, Natasha wrapped her legs around his waist as her arms hooked around his neck. Their lips melting into each other as his hips moved in an agonizing slow pace.

"Harder…. Please…" The Russian was barely audible, but she knew he would be able to hear her. Gasping sharply, she lurched forward as he started thrusting roughly into her. His long sure strokes, filling her and causing her to gasp every time he sank back in.

"You like that, huh? Like it when I'm deep inside you."

Jaw going slack at his words, all Natasha could do was nod as he kept up with his long strokes. Throwing her head back, the sharp pain from hitting the door only added to her already heightened desire. Tangling a hand into his hair, she pulled him to her, kissing him roughly as the other hand ranked up the back of the t-shirt he wore.

Wrapping an arm around her waist, he placed the other one across her back, his hand on her shoulder as he anchored her into place; effectively driving into her over and over as she squirmed and gasped in his arms.

"Steve!" Crying out in pleasure, she dug her nails into his shirt as she climaxed, her body tensing in his arms as he kept going. Groaning and grunting, Steve pushed through the delicious feeling of her walls clamping around him, the way she cried out and incoherently pleaded to an unknown god.

As he brought her down rather roughly, she gasped as he hit her sweet spot, her eyes closing as she tried to stop trembling in his arms.

"Come on, Natalia. One more. One more, кукла." His pace was getting a bit sloppy and she knew he was close; knew he had been holding back for her. "I want to hear you, let me hear you." Steve whispered next to her ear in Russian as he pinched and tweaked at her erect nipple.

A thin sheen of sweat was forming on her back, neck and forehead, as she bit down on her bottom lip, not wanting to make a sound. With the way he was playing with her, the way he was toying with her weakness for hearing him speak Russian and with hearing him talk dirty, it was beginning to be too much.

"Let. Me. Hear. You." Punctuating each word with a hard thrust of his hips, the red head chocked back a moan.

"Right th-…" Unable to finish the sentence, she screwed her eyes shut, her leg shaking as she cried out in pleasure. Cried out as she tried to get away, the pleasure getting to be too much. Cried out as he somehow pushed her into a third orgasm before chasing his own release with a loud groan.

Natasha was dimly aware that Steve had managed to stay fully clothed throughout the whole ordeal while she had ended up naked. Groaning as he moved the to the couch, they both clasped into a pile of spent and sedated limbs. A small moan passed her lips as the action caused him to push deeper into her before he pulled out.

"How is it that I always end up naked before you?" Her voice was laced with sleep as he moved them to lay down.

Chuckling, Steve, stood up to kick his jeans off before straightening out his boxers and laying next to her. "You'll get me naked once we wake up."

* * *

According to google translate, кукла, means doll.


	13. Let Me Watch You Drabble 13

**Drabble:** 24\. Let me watch you masturbate. (Requested by redwinekiss on twitter)

 **Paring:** Steve/Natasha

 **Word Count:** 938

 **Rating:** M

 **A/N:** I _know_ this took longer than it should have, considering how short it is, but I got busy with school and finals and such. Hope the wait was worth it!

* * *

"Wait…." Natasha panted into his ear, Steve's warm hands so close to where she needed him, her skin erupting in goosebumps.

"You sure?" He gruffly asked, his lips blazing a hot trail down her neck to one of her nipples. Taking the tight bud into his mouth he sucked on it before teasing it with his tongue, teeth tugging at it with just the right amount of pressure.

The spy bit down on her lip, a small whimper coming from the back of her throat as she felt her inner muscles contract. God damn it she wasn't going to last. Nodding, she released her bottom lip from between her teeth, her breathing laboured as she placed a hand on his chest and gently pushed. Getting the signal, Steve moved to sit on his heels, still kneeling near her open legs, a brow raised in question.

"I want to watch you…" A lustful look came over her as she let her hands wander over her heated skin. Moving one hand to cup her breast she slowly trailed the other down her toned stomach, fingertips teasing her inner thighs. "I want to watch you masturbate."

Steve's blue gaze followed her hands as they roamed over her pale soft skin. His own breath hitched at her words, blue hues moving to meet her sage ones. She was serious. /Fuck/.

"Let me watch you…" Her voice was low as she shifted, her legs spread a bit wider as she trailed her fingers over her damp folds, hips rocking up slightly at the sudden contact.

Licking his lips, he wrapped a hand around himself groaning as his eyes moved to glue themselves between her legs. He moved his hand up and down as her fingers circled her swollen clit. She was glistening with how wet she was, the urge to be buried within her was strong but he knew that this was what she wanted. She wanted to watch him and he was more than willing to watch her.

Natasha licked her lips, a small moan passing through them as she watched Steve. Her own fingers moved between her legs, fingertips teasing her clit before sliding three finger in. Gasping softly, her head pressed against the pillow, green hues fluttering closed as she slowly worked her fingers inside herself.

"Look at me..." Steve's breathing was laboured as he tried not to focus on his throbbing erection within his hand. Seeing Natasha finger herself was such a sight in itself, he could tell that this was really turning her on. The way her thighs twitched and shook, her fingers deep inside herself, her rapid heartbeat, the string of breathy moans that left her parted lips —all signs that she was she close.

Looking at him through half lidded eyes, teeth claimed her bottom lip as she slowly trailed her gaze down his toned chest, to his hand wrapped around his hard on. The sight alone caused her inner muscles to contract once more, her breath coming in shallow pants.

As he pumped faster, so did she. Every time he stilled, so did her fingers. Both of them were moaning and groaning, as they whirled closer to the edge.

"Steve..." His name was a whine mixed with a please as she pressed her head into the pillow once more, her fingers working faster as her other hand fisted into the bed sheets.

"Get 'em deeper... cu-curl... curl 'em.." Steve stammered as he watched her, transfixed by the beauty that was Natasha Romanoff. Her arousal was thick in the air, it was intoxicating him, making his mouth water with the desire to have her come undone under him.

Natasha moved her fingers in deeper, curling them at the same time. That was it, she broke, coming with a keen moan her legs wanting to close together as her back arched, features showing nothing but pure bliss.

Clenching his jaw, Steve groaned loudly tightened his grip on himself, watching her come undone pushed him over the edge, but he didn't want to come in his hand and he wasn't exactly willing to come on her stomach either.

Sighing softly, the red head slowly removed her fingers, bringing them to her lips to lick each one clean. Looking at her lover through half lidded eyes, she made a show of cleaning her fingers, biting her lip to keep from smiling smugly at him.

Before he could say anything she had moved onto her knees, hair cascading over one side as she took him into her mouth, replacing his hand with one of her own. Humming around him, she closed her eyes as his hand held her hair out of the way, slowly moving up and down.

The feeling of her hand and her hot wet mouth was all too much for him, he couldn't hold back anymore. With a loud groan of her name he came, his grip on her hair tightening as he gave into his release.

Eagerly, she took everything he had to offer, her hand pumping him through his release. Looking up at him through her lashes, she licking him clean before moving onto her knees, her hand still wrapped around him. "That was fun." A grin spread over her lips at the look he gave her.

Burying his face in her neck, he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her to him. "You're going to be the death of me, woman."

Pulling back a bit, she gave him a cheeky smile, chuckling at his words. "If by that you mean give you great orgasms, then yes, I will."


	14. No Longer A Hero Drabble 14

**A/N:** I got the inspiration to write this after finding out that Steve is no longer Cap in the MCU. Steggy feels because he didn't get to properly mourn her death in Civil War. Enjoy (:

* * *

[Location: London, England]

It had taken Steve numerous drafts before he was properly able to write the letter to Tony. Numerous attempts at finding the right words, of finding the right way to write down /why/ he hadn't told him about his parents.

The same thing was happening now, teeth worried at his bottom lip as he looked down at his shoes, hands stuffed into the pockets of his brown leather jacket. Blue hues were down cast, taking in the rich green colour of the grass under his feet, slowly he lifted his head and quickly scanned the cemetery. He was alone —a possibly analogy with how he was currently feeling.

Exhaling a breath, he deflated like a balloon, shoulders slumping at he looked at the headstone alone with the fresh flowers he had placed there.

"Hi Peggy."

There was a pause as he tried calming his racing mind. A feeling of hopelessness bubbling up in his chest as he slowly shook his head.

"I can't do this. I can't. This world isn't the same. This isn't the world we knew... things are different. Morals are different. It's changed, changed to a point where I don't think it needs Captain America."

Running a hand down the side of his stubbled jaw, he looked at her name carved into the stone.

"Maybe I'm just using that as an excuse... an excuse for the obvious; I'm not the national hero. It's the suit —the shield— that's the symbol. I'm... I'm just a kid from Brooklyn. It took me a while to figure that out."

Swallowing the lump in his throat as his mind went back in time, back to when things had been easier —not for him but in the world— he remembered their conversation in the car, remembered it as if it had been yesterday.

"I miss you Peggy..."

Steve's voice cracked as he took a shaky calming breath, jaw clenched, lips pressed into a thin line. The grief he hadn't been able to process at her funeral was starting to rear its head once more but he pushed it down, clearing his throat.

"I should go..."

Giving her grave one final look, he started walking towards the gate entrance before turning down the sidewalk and getting lost in the crowd of people that milled to a fro, trying to get through their everyday lives.

Letting the door to the safe house close behind him he leaned against it as the bottled up emotions came rushing out, like a damn bursting, an unstoppable force that racked his body as he gave in. Tears streamed down his face, hands clenching into fists, at the upheaval of emotions he was currently experiencing. It ranged from hate to pure sadness. Steve was angry at time, oh how time seemed to go by slow but it had stolen so much of his life, time was a thief no one but the elderly and the sick knew would come. He knew he shouldn't be here, he shouldn't be alive, he should have either died in the war or of old age. It wasn't far for him to look like he was in his thirties yet Peggy was six feet underground. Gritting his teeth, he threw a punch at the nearest wall, his fist going right through the plaster and support beam, more tears streamed down his faces, forehead resting against the cool solid wall.

Why wasn't there a way to remove the serum from his body? It would have been better to either be on his death bed or be that skinny sick kid again, /this/ was torture. Being a super soldier after what happened with the team, after what happened with Peggy and Bucky, it was pure fucking torture. Removing his fist from the hole in the wall, he turned around, pressing his back to it as he slowly slid down to the floor. The painful lump was forming in his throat as he ran his tongue over his teeth, trying hard to suppress the hot tears that burned his eyes. It was useless, a sob found its way past his lips, the tears soon following down his cheeks.

He wasn't Captain America, wasn't Steven Grant Rogers, wasn't even Steve Rogers. He was just a man mourning the loss of a woman. A woman who would always be his 'what if.'


	15. A Scared Kiss Drabble 15

**Paring:** Steve/Nat

 **Rating:** K

 **Prompt:** Affectionate Moments Meme on Tumblr requested by myloveiamthespeedofsound

* * *

"We have what we have when we have it." Natasha felt bad for Steve, she knew how much Peggy had meant to him, knew that aside from Bucky -who was still MIA- Peggy had been the only other person attached to his past, to who he used to be _before_ becoming Captain America. She could see it in his eye that he had gotten the double meaning of her words. Her heart broke at his features. There was clearly so much pain within him, so much pain that he was hiding from the rest of the world. Pain he didn't have to hide from _her._

She didn't know what else to do other than be there for him. Be there in case he needed someone other than Sam to lean on.

"C'mere." Her voice was soft as she hugged him, let him sag against her smaller frame. Placing her chin on his shoulder, she soothed a hand over his back. Natasha had been there the whole service, from her place at the back of the church, she noticed that he only cried once and that was when they carried Peggy's casket in. After that, to everyone else, he was fine. But she knew better.

Feeling him shake a bit as he silently cried, a lump formed in her throat her own eyes closing as she held him tighter. As if that could shield him from what was happening with the team, as if it could protect him from all the pain he had.

"You should go…. To Vienna…." His voice broke at the end as he pulled back, composing himself as best as he could.

Without thinking, Natasha placed her hand on his cheek, her thumb wiping the last tear away. She wanted to tell him how she felt, the feelings for him that unsettled her. Wanted to kiss him. Hoped that he felt the same way for her. But she didn't, he had just lost someone he had loved, she wasn't going to dump that on him.

"Take care, Steve." With her hand still on his cheek, she moved to hug him once more. Giving him a slight squeeze before pulling back and placing a soft kiss to his cheek. Just like she had done at the cemetery after DC, except this time it had more meaning to it. She was scared, scared that his stubborn ways would get him killed, but most importantly, she was scared because she was falling for him.

Pulling back completely, she gave him a small smile, shoved her hands into the pockets of her trench coat and turned to walk back out of the church.


	16. A Hidden Darkness

**A/N: This is my attempt at 'Steve has PTSD and isn't over it.' Starts out post CW with flashbacks to the other movies. I know this isn't a proper way to deal with PTSD but it's the way I went with it, sorry if it offends anyone.**

* * *

 _Everything has a shadow side, even people._

* * *

Even on the run from the law, there're a few people that couldn't give a damn about people like himself, that was unless they caused trouble. Who were those people? Kingpins of the underground. They didn't care about people like him, if there was no trouble and business wasn't interrupted, they didn't even bother looking twice at them. This was incredibly useful to Steve for two reasons; one, the less people looked twice at him, the better chance he had at evading General Ross and whoever was on the ground to look for him; two, apparently to some kingpins begin a 'hero' meant that they were more than willing to give you the best of the best that they had to offer (probably to make friends or to keep him quite, whatever it was, he didn't care, he was only glad that seedy motels were out of the picture).

His breath grates out of him, the edges of sweet oblivion so close he could taste it. The hand at her hip flexes, she's going to have bruises in the morning, welts on her wrists, a few bite marks. But Steve can't bring himself to give a damn, not now anyway, not when oblivion is so close. If it wasn't consensual he wouldn't be doing it, wouldn't have his other hand fisted into her hair, causing her back to arch as he forcefully moves within in her. The soft sighs she had been trying to keep under control yielding to incoherent moans of unadulterated pleasure.

Burring his face in the juncture of her neck and shoulder, a groan emitted from him as he finally found oblivion, sweet oblivion. For a spilt second their hearts were rapidly beating as one, both falling over the edge of pleasure, trying to quite their own demons.

Carefully, he slid an arm up her torso to keep her upright while the other undid the cuffs that bound her wrists behind her back. The metal made a muffled sound as it hit the carpet, the bed dipping slightly to one side as Steve moved to lay her on the bed, before collapsing down next to her. It was in these moments afterwards that the noise in his head was silenced, there was nothing to worry about, nothing to feel guilty about, no restlessness, just him in bed. It was as if in those moments afterwards, he could finally feel like himself. Of course, just like everything else in life, those moments never lasted long. As he lay there staring up at the ceiling, the full moon casting a pleasant glow throughout the room, Steve knew he wasn't going to get much sleep.

He had known Natasha had meant well when she had offered over and over to find him a date (even if, from time to time, it had been for her amusement). There was nothing wrong with Kristen or Lillian or Sharon, there really wasn't, they were amazing headstrong women but they didn't share his experiences. He had given her the answer to her question when asked why he didn't want to go on a date with whoever she had suggested. It was hard finding someone with a shared like experience, because it /was/.

Steve was certain that it if he /had/ been willing to date any of the three, they wouldn't have stuck around for long. There's only so many sleepless nights, so many outbursts, so many nightmares, so many flashbacks a person is willing to deal with in a relationship before they call it quits. He didn't want to put them through that, not when they could have a healthy relationship with someone else.

The outbursts go significantly worse after SHIELD fell but for the most part he could keep them under wraps, just like everything else. With SHIELD gone, he set out looking for a new therapist, occasionally making his presence known at a local VA meeting (his body was there but his mind hardly ever was, thus, he never spoke about things he'd gone through, he was too busy reliving them to share).

After the incident with Ultron and Sokovia, the restlessness and numbness worsened. The nightmares stayed the same as did the sleepless nights, because they went had in had like fire and gasoline. Tony had complained that the hex hadn't affected him like everyone else, that he didn't have a dark side, which was a bunch of shit. It _had_ affected him, he _did_ in fact have a dark side, but what the hex made him feel and see, he was already used to seeing and feeling on a daily baisis. The yearning to go back to the 40s was still in him. The feeling of being an outsider still clung to him like the smell of smoke did to a chain-smoker.

The opaque morning light filtered into the room, fog and clouds clinging to the sky like one does to blankets on a cold winter morning. Tilting his head to the side, blue gaze landed on the pile of red curls that were splayed on the pillow next to him, obscuring the feminine features underneath. They trailed along the curve of her back to where the white duvet covered her and for a moment he could pretend it was….

Scrubbing his hands down his face and along his beard, Steve shook those thoughts from his head, glancing out to the large hotel window, out onto the cool foggy London morning. Expertly, stealthily, he removed himself from the bed. The mattress hardly dripping at the lightened load and proceeded to pull on his clothes.

Padding into the bathroom, he flicked on the light before splashing his face with cold water. The eyes that stared back at him in the mirror where haunted with lack of sleep and a myriad of other emotions.

Exiting the bathroom, he leaned against the doorframe gaze pinned on the sleeping female. Her hair was like fire against the stark white of the pillow and sheets. It was a pattern really, red or brown, occasionally he would wake up to inky black strands and he would be lying to himself if he didn't admit to the slight disappointment that went through him. It really depended on which city he was in, which kingpin had what he was searching for. Shaking his head, he pushed himself off the doorframe and quietly made his way to the door. The city would change, the hair would change but what wouldn't change was him slipping out of bed, leaving absolutely no trace of himself


End file.
